我不可能忘記.

Hi. I'm back.
Haven't been posting for quite a while.
Back to vent everything outta my heart...

It's been very horrible these days. I'm sick, i haven't been going to school for quite some time already.

1. My grandfather's hospitalized again. But this time. Doctor told us to get our heart prepared.
Prayed hard... Hoping you could passed through this stage. I hope you're okay now. 

2. RELATIONSHIP.
Idk why. But we are drifting further and further each day from the day you've started work.

The time you're willing to spend with me seems lesser & lesser too.
Even your off days... Maybe you're too tired. Or maybe you need a rest for this relationship. Or maybe a rest away from me. Is it me ? Am I the one who is actually the one who think-Ed too much?

Today. I've noticed you've exchanged numbers from girls again..
It is not even a month full you're outside working...
Or is it me being too sensitive?

These days... I'm very depressed.
Feeling insecure..
I'm not a good girlfriend.. I can't even handle this relationship properly..
I know I'm nothing btr then your ex girlfriends. I understands why you'll look at pretty girls outside. Cos, I'm not pretty enough, couldn't be th one you could look at everyday. I know why you've don't often bring me out. Cos I couldn't be that girl you could show off to your friend..

I don't have big boobs.
I don't have good figures.
I don't have good looks.
I don't have a sweet tongue.
I don't have a good family background.
I'm not rich. I can't study. I'm not those girlish type of person. I don't know how to cook. I don't know how to make you happy. I don't know how to love you the way you've wanted.

I'm sorry that I'm not a perfect girlfr.
I'm sorry I can't be like how others are.
I'm sorry that I've to rely on you so much. I'm sorry for everything .
And finally .. Sorry for being sucha failed girlfriend..

Some random pictures... Those happy moments that I miss ....

Sighs 

Coco:
It's th sixth day you're away ... How are you ? And where are you ?! ):
I miss you alot . I haven't been sleeping well these six days. I really really wished you could come back. Girl. I really miss you alot):

Holiday...
It's gonna be th end of e holidays. Didn't went out at all. Everyday's procedure is "eat, sleep, slack and fetching baby off work"...
Damnn bored.
How I wished school starts in e afternoon ...

Baby:
You haven't been treating me well these days... Why? ....
Recently, you accidentally mentioned. I'm too rough, and stuff . I know Denice is btr then me alot.
She's gentle, soft, sweet, studies are good and have a good family background.... I'm nothing compared to Her. And I found out that you're actually still thinking of her. Sometimes I mean.

I hope that there's something called a memory eraser . I hope that I could erase all your ex's memory in you...

Sometimes .. I felt very depressed...
I'm insecure, I'm not a gentle kinda girl. I don't even hav a average kinda look. I'm not sweet enuf. I don't hav a good family background... I couldn't be that girl that you can share your problems with.. I couldn't be that girl that you can rely on . I wouldn't be that girl you wanna lean on when you're tired. I know.

I felt so useless. Being in a bias family. Without financial support..
I felt damn worthless when I hav to rely fully on you. Food, drinks, cigarette, a place to stay, transport. Mentally and physical support that you're giving me... I felt worthless.

Sometimes I wonder. If I could live without you. Starting back to zero again.. What will I become ?

I'm always useless. I couldn't help you in anything . I know I'm too much expecting you to accompany me fully during your off days. but I was just wanting to build up our bond. And I missed th way we used to be...

Are u neglecting this relationship?
I know you're working hard to feed me... But I'll rather it to be me. Working part-time ... Atlease I'm spending me own money for my own expences .
Each day you end work. You're so damn tired alr . But you choose to accompany me ... I know everything ... I know. It hurts me to....

It hurts me more when I know I couldn't be th one who you turned to while you're unhappy and stuff...

I've noticed I'm th only one needing you and relying on you... I wanna be independent in this relationship.. I hope I can...

Dar... Sorry for everything .. Sorry for being angry over lil things . Sorry for not being understanding enough. I'll try to be a good girlfr I swear.. Darling, I love you....

Random pikturres......

-SIGHS-

You're working again and i'm damn bored ):
Don't like this alone feeling you know . Sianah. Today is Sunday. There's school tomorrow ): I hate school. Go to school for th sake of u y'know ?
Th teachers here sucks to th core .
You wont know how it feels like ):
Sicko teachers. Boring class . And lastly. No friends . Bored ttfm . School likka far only. Wah, sian ... If only I have big groups of friends in school, school will be much more interesting .

Early in th morning start school. So late then end school. Fucktard principle. This just sucks to th core. If only i have the money. I would be studying in privet alr.

I miss you baby. I don't like th life I'm having. See u for like 2 hours and I have to go to bed alr. Tho we're sleep over Tgt . But th time we spent Tgt is so less. When u end work. You're so tired alr. You won't be able to spend much time with me. I know I can't blame you. Cause you're working and not outside playing . Sighs. I wish I could quickly adapt to this kinda life ... ): I miss you dear

Sigh... You've ord-Ed alr . You've started working alr. Time passed so fast. I don't like this feeling .
I'm afraid . Very afraid. I don't dare t trust. I'm afraid one day you'll just fall for another random girl and just leaves like nobodies business . I'm afraid that one day we could just end lyk this. Ytd was our 1year 4month anniversary ?
You was working. I was alone downstairs thinking of you. Wondering if you thinked about me during work even just a second. That would be enuf.
I'm just hoping That after so long. All my effort pays off.

I dreamt of u today. That incident that happened before. I was angrily sad . I don't know how to express that feeling. I woke up in tears. I hope it wouldn't be repeated . ): I hate this feeling ):

Random pic.