not feeling good

sometimes i wonder? what am i expecting from you . i dont know.
kill me for th curiousity of your past. now who the hell is gracious now ? gosh. seriously . past few day i know the storey behind that hey be. then i know joyce. and now gracious.

how much more can i know ? fuck it shit . this seriously freaks me out alot. knowing so much facts that i hope it shouldnt be that way ?
it scares me alot . now what am i gonna do ? red bull? fuck this shit seriously. i give up....

If only I had a time machine...

Boy. You've finally changed slowly.
I can see your changes. I'm happy.
But slowly. I've learnt to see your troubles too.. Money issues, your family troubles..

I'm sorry for being a burden to you.
I know being with me is very stressful.
My family. Me..
Most importantly. Money.
If only i didn't mix with th wrong group. If only I've learnt how to think earlier.
Maybe. I wouldn't be like this now.
If only I'm not your girlfriend now. You wouldn't be so unhappy.
I'm sucha failed girlfriend. I demands things from you. Even I know you're tired. I want you to accompany me. I kill your freedom, I need you with me all the time. I couldn't sleep if you're nt around. I couldn't make decisions without you. Sorry. Sorry for being sucha burden to you.

I can't make u smile. I make u Pek cek all the time..

An now I realize.. You don't smile so often as th past. You're no longer cheerful.
If only I can make you smile. Make you happy. I'm sorry for being useless.
I'm sorry I couldn't do anything seeing you so xin ku....
I really wished I could do something for you. But I don't know what to do. 
I'm sorry.. I'm sorry...